hey'd never have carried weight before

The railings are destroyed
I'm just a step away
Is this my life?
Is this my life?

Wherever I've gone
The end was always
The futility of delight
Whatever I've said
In my words was always
The futility of delight

Now the bridge is breaking apart
I cannot get a hold of anything
There's nothing within my reach at all

I'm falling weightlessly
Just a step too far
This is my life
This is my life

Wherever I've gone
The end was always
The futility of delight
Whatever I've said
In my words was always
The futility of delight


3. New Day

I walk along an endless path, it's the same as yesterday
Nothing's changed and nothing's evolved anywhere
Too many voices call your name
And my own is much too weak
To be heard, to be felt

And I'm dragged down the waterfall
Disarmed, defenseless

All the flowers are withered
And everything has turned to gray
The rain can't wash away my tears
Into the deepest marsh I falling
And my struggling only helps
To force my suffocation

And I'm dragged down the waterfall
Disarmed, defenseless

When I saw you for the last time
Your eyes were cold and dull
Why can't you stay with me forever
Why did you have to go
Oh, you were wilting much too fast
Your scars will never heal
I never knew how much I love you

Can I wake the dead
Can I cry if I could
Will the sun ever shine on you again
Can you see me lying here
Don't you see me hiding here
It's too deep, much too deep to cry

And I'm dragged down the waterfall
Disarmed, defenseless


4. A Better God

Your eyes reflect the surface of the water
Your lipstick is smeared
The reed moves quietly in the wind
And you alone with yourself
For the first time alone with yourself

You've always been waiting for that moment
To answer all your questions yourself
The shore at the edge of the world seems too far
And you drink the blood of life
And you vomit

God - give me another life
I'm praying for a better life
God - give me another life
I'm praying for a better life

The clouds merge to the image of your fate
Your faith belongs to no one anymore
You're blind 'cos you are dead
'Cos you were blind of trust
But your eyes are closed now
Forever

God - give me another life
I'm praying for a better life
God - give me another life
I'm praying for a better...

God - give me another life
I'm praying for a better life
God - give me another life
I'm praying for a better... god

A better god...


5. Intransigence

You're the guide to my tomorrow
You're the anchor of my heart but I can't follow
'Cos my bones will break apart
When I try to get up for another start
I will suffocate again

Leave me lying on your pillow
Dance with me until no morning ever comes
And my hair is turning gray
Like a dying leaf in autumn always fades
In a wilting garden

Intransigence of time
Another time I heard you calling,
But you are too far away
Intransigence of time
Another time I felt you breathing,
But you are too far away

In my dreams your face is burning
Your eyes reveal an everlasting fear
I try to take your hands
But when I almost touched them - they disappeared
All my hope is drowning

We drive the blade into our bodies
We'll be united 'til the end of our time
Even if our bodies part
And we're a 100,000 miles apart again
We'll always be together

Intransigence of time
Another time I heard you calling,
But you are too far away
Intransigence of time
Another time I felt you breathing,
But you are too far away

Another time I heard you calling
Another time I felt you breathing,
But you are too far away


6. Torn Being

I wake up, it's dark
It's cold, but I'm not freezing
I don't know where I am, don't know how I came here
I try to get up, but I'm paralyzed
The last snow is melting, it's march
It's always cold in march, isn't it?

I'm trying hard to remember
What happened yesterday, or was it the day before
I see blood beside me and on my hands
I see your face

It's raining heavier and life is coming back to my body
I try to find the moon, but it's too cloudy
I try to move - and I can move

I try to make out where I am
There's a lake with silent waves and there are trees
I see your body with dislocated limbs
And I see your face

"My shivering hands vainly try to touch your face
Something holds me back approaching your face..."

Your eyes are open, are you crying?
But these tears are rainwater filling your eyes
You don't move, you don't answer, you don't react at all
It smells like burnt rubber, I see a car
And I remember it was ours
And now the fog is clearing
Very slowly I begin to understand
Begin to understand

We wanted to end our lives
Of sorrows and agony
We wanted to escape
And now you're dead
Now you're dead and I'm alive

Why do I live when you're dead
Why should I live when you're dead


7. Courageous

Your wrinkled hands reveal the time
You can't stop anymore
The expression of you eyes is still courageous
Your lips are pale, your skin is white
I thought you'd never fall
You're lying motionless in bed

Courageous inside
Flies dance around the same old lie
I'm giving up your shape

Oh, I was startled by the words
You breathed in your despair
You've lost your trust in your own world - in living
In times when you were young and strong
You could embrace the world
You've been so fearless and so sure

Courageous inside
Flies dance around the same old lie
I'm giving up your shape

"But our dreaming was too far beyond reality
Another time we had to see - we are creeping worms in space
Too many disappointments made me disintegrate
I'm losing hold, losing control - and my world collapsed"

It seemed that life came back to you
Your eyes were blazing bright
Immortal power seized your body
I left you when you fell asleep
You wanted to be alone
And now I'm sitting next to you

You're still courageous inside
Flies dance around the same old lie
I'm giving up your shape

"Sometimes I'm burning in a fire of lies and agony
These waves will never subside and my world will disappear
I don't believe in human souls, I had to bury warmth
In endless fights against myself my world collapsed"


8. The Vortex

The dust in your photograph
Reveals the time gone by
These days seem so far away
Why did I return

Your rooms didn't change a lot
But the things have lost your soul
Your scent was replaced by cold
Which is seized my body

The vortex was much too fast
But we weren't afraid of falling
The blindness of fatal dreams
Remains

The door opens and you're standing there
Your hair is wet from rain
You're looking scared and distraught
But you can't speak anymore

A window shutters and you laugh
Your face is so unreal
Your eyes reveal the senseless fight
You'll never escape

The vortex was much too fast
But we weren't afraid of falling
The blindness of fatal dreams
Remains


9. Awakening

This is the day I've always been awaiting
A ray of sun comes into my room
The sleepless nights of former years are ending
And every day falls into a gloom

Where is the torment in my brain - it's so silent
Where is the screaming of my soul
I can't stand it anymore
I'm drowning

I'll be dancing with your soul - in our ancient way
I'll be kissing you today - and our hope is granted
Every minute I am wasting here is agonizing pain
Why should I hesitate to leave

I'm sick of escaping from that cold - I'm still running
The torn thoughts destroyed my mind
The emptiness causes fear and isolation
Transience seems to be a lie

I'll be dancing with your soul - in our ancient way
I'll be kissing you today - and our hope is granted
Every minute I am wasting here is agonizing pain
Why should I hesitate to leave


10. Vagrants In Space

Contaminated ground beneath our feet
We're walking slowly but hand in hand
We don't care to stumble, we don't care to fall
We're too far away from earth

We don't feel our aching feet anymore
After years and years of running
The long road we covered seems to end right here
We're so close, but too far

There is something better
Something free and new
There's another home for the lost
Where our dreams come true

We're vagrants in space
We don't care about the dreams around us
Vagrants in space
We don't need deceitfulness to live

We have tried too long, we have died too long
We have cried too long at all
We believed too long, understood too long
Now our time has come

There is something better
Something free and new
There's another home for the lost
Where our dreams come true

We're vagrants in space
We don't care about the dreams around us
Vagrants in space
We don't need deceitfulness to live


11. Calling The Sun

Another time I've tried to walk along this icy way
Another time I've lost my balance
When my eyes turned gray
Too many screams don't let me fall asleep
Too many dreams that I have buried deep inside

Calling the sun
My whole world collapsed last night
My star can't shine tonight

Another time I've tried to walk along this icy way
Another time I've lost my balance
When my eyes turned gray
Another day began to dawn in my mind
Another day without a sun to shine

Calling the sun
My whole world collapsed last night
My star can't shine tonight

All the things I ever knew
Seem to be without importance
For my intent for another start
Go away from here
Just go away from here
My sun might shine for you

Calling the sun
My whole world collapsed last night
My star can't shine tonight


12. Exile

Contradiction in my thoughts is the barrier of my life
I cannot jump that nigh to overcome
Too many hidden ways - their destination is the same
Which way is wrong and which is right

Sometimes I wish I had a choice
To end or to begin
Sometimes I wish I could live on my own

But nothing's breaking through the walls inside
All the dreams remain behind
All the voices fade away
I'm falling into nothingness of life
I don't care about the time
I don't need to understand

There's no confusion in my mind but the clarity is gone
I hope you'll never ask about tomorrow
My abandoned ship is carried by the current
I cannot fight against it and I cannot force it

Sometimes I wish I had a choice
To end or to begin
Sometimes I wish I could live on my own

But nothing's breaking through the walls inside
All the dreams remain behind
All the voices fade away
I'm falling into nothingness of life
I don't care about the time
I don't need to understand


13. The Cycle

Seal the chapters of your life, but they'll be immortal
Feel the scares you'll never seen on your skin
Try to remember who you are, you'll never realize
All the failures in the past come again

Dreams are shattered
Life has won again
The endless cycle
You have lost again


14. Twist In My Sobriety

[bonus track]

All God's children need travelling shoes
Drive your problem from here
All good people read good books
Now your conscience is clear
I hear you talk, girl
Now your conscience is clear

In the morning when I wipe my brow
Wipe the miles away
I like to think than I can be so willed
And never do what you say
I'll never hear you
And never do what you say

Look my eyes are just holograms
Look your love has drawn red from my hands
From my hands you know you'll never be
More than twist in my sobriety
More than twist in my sobriety

We just poked a little empty pie
For the fun the people had at night
Late at night don't need hostility
The timid smile and pause to free

I don't care about their different thoughts
Different thoughts are good for me
Up in arms and chaste and whole
All God's children took their toll

Look my eyes are just holograms
Look your love has drawn red from my hands
From my hands you know you'll never be
More than twist in my sobriety
More than twist in my sobriety

Cup of tea take time to think, yeah
Time to risk a life, a life, a life
Sweet and handsome, soft and porky
You pig out 'til you've seen the light
Pig out 'til you've seen the light

Half the people read the papers
Read them good and well
Pretty people, nervous people
People have got to sell
News you have to sell

Look my eyes are just holograms
Look your love has drawn red from my hands
From my hands you know you'll never be
More than twist in my sobriety
More than twist in my sobriety

Look my eyes are just holograms
Look your love has drawn red from my hands
From my hands you know you'll never be
More than twist
More than twist in my sobriety